YO DUMB DUMB…

THIS SCENE, right here from “Night at the Museum”. I laugh so hard every time I watch this clip and Ben Stiller’s reaction to being called “dumb dumb”. You’re welcome. Enjoy! It will provide laughter, compliments of the bad decisions I made last week which turned me into “Larry”.

Easter Island Head v. Larry the Night Guard

I can still visualize in my mind (in slow motion of course) the bat shit crazy version of myself walking in the restaurant, seeing them sitting in the booth, realizing how used and foolish I was the night before (she is clueless of course), choking him the hell out with all 115 pounds of myself and ending up in jail. Did that really happen? No, but a girl can dream! The vision is super satisfying but the hate and scar on my heart that was slowly healing is bleeding once more, and that doesn’t serve me well. I handled myself with the best integrity I could muster while my 13 year old daughter watched for my reaction. So classy and mature it was, because teaching my daughter a lesson in life was way more important than how I was feeling inside at that moment. I may have took the high road when I shook her hand and introduced myself, and not because fear was holding me back, but rather it was me loving myself more than he ever could. I took my dignity and left the restaurant. I didn’t cry when my daughter hugged me in the car, told me I was pretty, kissed me on the cheek because she simply didn’t know what else to say, and I didn’t cry until she went up stairs when we made it home.

After the kids went to bed, I text a friend and said “Hey man, are you ready to f*%k me and get me over the ex?” He laughed and said “No girl, we won’t be f*%king to get you over the ex, we would be f*%king for fun, but you know in the end that won’t help you heal.” See, that’s a solid friend right there – GIVING TRUTH and not taking advantage of a situation for some kitty. He also told me to get the hell off dating apps because I was hurting myself and not helping myself. That I needed more time. That I don’t need to try to keep up with the ex. That it’s ok, that I’m just not ready yet. I know he’s right. I called him a joy killer and said I hope it happens soon, I want to wear my cute little things and feel like a sexy woman again, because these granny panties are NOT WINNING! Then it hit me, in a sexy mood killer kinda way, that I can still get pregnant! WHOAH, and OH HELL NO! I seriously can’t believe that. It’s been so long since I’ve had to think about that piece and it feels so foreign. I should probably just stick with the goals of consistently shaving my body parts! One day at a time! SMH…adulting at #45 sucks.

FORGIVE TO LIVE because forgiving yourself and others is a MUST to move on and it doesn’t hurt to run from Attila the Hun so you’re not such a dumb dumb.

P.S. I’ve had stubby fingers my whole entire life, furthermore the entire 6 year relationship. I held your hand, and many other parts of your body for 6 years with no notice, and definitely zero complaints. I find it ironic that it took being compared to other women for my stubby little fingers to finally be noticed. #perfectlyimperfect

Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat.

TAK

TOMMY WHO???

Tommy????

I woke up and just like that I realized for the past 33 years I’ve been belting out Bon Jovi’s song “Livin on a Prayer” WRONG!!!!! I mean for real…WHO IS TOMMY? My guy has been Johnny and I don’t know who the hell this Tommy dude is.

Seriously though…it happened. Today. Pulling out of my driveway, deciding I’ve had enough of love songs that make me feel gross inside and forget country music because that makes me feel like crashing my car into something and I’ve already had enough wrecks for one year. So I think to myself there is only one thing to do!!! BREAK OUT THE 80’s ROCK. It won’t cause a ton of reminiscing because we didn’t listen to it very often, SO YEAH, HELL YEAH, BRING ON THE 80’S ROCK. I gotta be honest, it’s not my fav whatsoever. But it doesn’t bring memories to my head or my heart. So, with that, you bet, I’m all in.

I am however highly disturbed by the fact that I’ve been singing this song wrong for so many years. How is that even possible to miss something so obvious? Maybe the real question is, was I really listening in the first place? Tommy v. Johnny. Hmmmmm, I guess it’s possible.

So that brings me to this thought. If it has been possible to miss something so critical as the name of the dude who worked on the docks in Bon Jovi’s hit song all these years, then who knows how much I’ve missed in LIFE not really listening. Hearing and listening are two very different things. Touché Tommy!

Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat

TAK

Hmmmmm

THE RINSE CYCLE

Welcome to THE RINSE CYCLE.
LIVE. LEARN. RINSE. REPEAT.

You guessed it…another AMAZING blog out in the universe to read. I know, the world needs another blog like it needs another !

I would love to say it will be life shattering. An eye opening, laugh until your gut hurts, educational and occasionally sad read. It probably will be and as a bonus, I will throw out randoms about living, learning, RINSING and repeating this crazy thing called life.

I’m a mother of two amazing kids. Yes, I know, everyone says it, but they are. I’m a Paralegal by day and an IFBB Pro Athlete by night, sometimes early morning but realistically more like “whenever I can fit it in”. I just turned 45, and here’s the real kicker – I’m still trying to get my shit together and figure out who I am and what I want to be when I grow up BECAUSE THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS, oh and finally I’m a “wanna-be” blogger for myself because it feels good.

About a year ago I started this blog and called it “Inhale good shit exhale bullshit.” I started it for myself after the encouragement of a friend, but never shared it socially and only with a few people in my circle. Looking back, I thought the name fit perfectly as I was attempting some kick-ass Nitro Circus type stunts to exhale things and people in my life that were not serving me and attempting to inhale the good surrounding me like an experienced Yogi in some crazy twisted pretzel pose humming “ommmmmmmmmm.” Of course, achieving true peace will forever be a life goal for me, but I’ve outgrown the GOODSHIT & BULLSHIT mantra.

I’ve also outgrown the No F’s Given Club, although I gave it my best shot. I’ve outgrown pretending to be strong when I am weak, after all I have the best ugly cry face ever. I’ve outgrown pretending to have my shit together, because I just don’t and it’s too exhausting to pretend otherwise.

Time to be real. Time to heal.

Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat.

TAK

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