LIFE LESSONS FEEL LIKE SWIM LESSONS ONLY FACE DOWN IN THE WATER DROWNING.
Mistakes and worse, more bad decisions made – complete disrespect to self. When will I learn, people are the same, despite mouth game, they just don’t change.
Struggling is not failing. Survived 12 rounds and the countdown. Don’t worry, I’ve got you, just as I always have because he never could.
Live.Learn.Rinse.Repeat.
TAK
My mother at the ripe age of 5, had the “how to deal with your stress” down to a T. Her brother, a year older, had been diagnosed with cancer and died a very sad and terrible death, which led to my mother acting out at school and probably being a super mess in general.
Obviously, back in those days most people probably were none the wiser on how to handle this kind of trauma in a child. The school she went to did one thing by asking my mom straight up “Georgia, what can we do to help you cope with the loss of your brother?” My mom’s reply, which I just have to say was absolutely priceless “I want to wear my roller-skates to school and skate everywhere and not take them off. Oh, and I want to eat cookies.” Apparently, the school jumped onboard with her request, because she roller-skated through the entire school, all day long for months.
I’m sure my mom had no clue, that her strategy plan to deal with trauma and stress was smart as hell. She chose the one vibe that made her smile and feel good and just maybe allowed her to forget the pain she was experiencing for the school day.
I began ice-skating last year and roller-skating outside this year. It has honestly been the BEST VIBE for my soul. I feel free for a time. Free of being almost 47 years old and all the responsibilities that can weigh me down being an adult. Skating takes me back to a place of feeling the wind in my hair and nothing but an awesome peace vibe. Plus, it kicks ass to be really good at something and just keep getting better at my age. My kids dig me. I’m pretty lucky in the sense that they are proud of me and whatever crazy as hell thing I decide to start “doing”. Occasionally then even get on board!
EVERYONE can surely agree that we ALL need GOOD VIBES more than ever as we move forward in 2021!
So, ask yourself, what’s your VIBE? When was the last time you danced like nobody was watching? Or tried something new and looked like a damn fool but did it anyway and walked away smiling because you did?
Whatever strikes your fancy, find it or find it again! Get after it! CHILL VIBES FOR THE WIN!
Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat
TAK
For anyone who feels broken, unwanted and beyond repair – this is for you.
YOU ARE WANTED.
If you let love inside, you will see. You are worthy.
YOU ARE WANTED.
You are not what you were, who you’ve been, how you were raised or how you were unloved. You are new every morning.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your scars are victories. You are beautiful.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your struggle may be temporary or lifelong. You are not broken.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your blood may not be your bond. You are not alone.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your dark shadows are not your friend. You will find the sun by what you seek. Seek and you shall find.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your broken spirit and tears do not define you as weak. You are stronger, dig deep.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your worth is not valued in monetary gain or a number of likes.
YOU ARE WANTED.
Your heart is still beating, you are not dead, you are still breathing, and YOU ARE WANTED. You just haven’t seen it yet. Don’t give up and please believe – YOU ARE WANTED.
REPEAT AFTER ME… I AM WANTED.
Keep Going. #2021
LIVE.LEARN.RINSE.REPEAT.
TAK
If you’ve heard the Rodney Atkins song “If you’re going through hell” then you know you better run your ass off to get to the other side. RUN FOREST FUN!
“If you’re going through Hell
Keep on going, don’t slow down
If you’re scared, don’t show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you’re there”.
My thought is, if your going through hell in the first place the struggle is real and you better run your ass off then implement the STOP. DROP. AND ROLL technique because if you made it out of there alive your shit is probably on fire. And just keep going, there is hope on the other side….right? Maybe a rainbow? A rainbow with a leprechaun? A rainbow with a leprechaun and a pot of gold? Nah, I don’t think that sounds right and neither does green beer, that actually sounds pretty gross. What I’m trying to say is, after you get to the finish line of all the hell you’ve been going through there is supposed to be a happy ending. No sir…not that kind, well at least not in this blog! LOL.
It may take time to find your happy HEALED ending and your new beginning. There may be times you regress due to things that RIP THE FUCKING BANDAID OF HEALING right off the bone. But what can you do? Run back through hell, find the devil and kick him the dick for bringing you back to square one? No. That’s just dumb, read the song lyrics again because if you made it out alive the first time that’s #WINNING! Pick yourself back up ONE MORE TIME and start the process all over again. It sucks, but you got this!
OHHHHH…how the bandaid ripping BURNS! It’s like you have the hairiest legs and you let a new student of hair waxing try their technique out on you! Or better yet, the bandaid ripping would be a close comparison to falling off your bike as a kid and completely racking your crotch off on the frame. It’s the bruised black and blue kind, the kind that takes your breath away. And honestly, I don’t give two shits if you’re a chic or a dude getting racked like that will light your parts up for dayzzzzzz. So check out these safety tips and use them for your future well-being:
1. Don’t ride bikes.
2. If you do ride bikes, wear a cup and a helmet.
3. Buy a ton of frozen peas. I hear Hy-vee has them on sale this week.
4. Practice meditation with said peas on your bruises, it turns your mind off and into FROSTBITE concerns! LOL
5. Be careful who you trust with your heart.
6. Do something super uncomfortable. A new job, interviews, new group activities, dance lessons. Whatever is uncomfortable for you. “Just be you, be picky and put yourself out there. What’s the worst that could happen. You make friends.” (JH credit.)
7. Force yourself to laugh and smile, even with people you don’t know and especially when you don’t feel like it. A returned smile and laugh can actually make your day brighter if you give it a chance.
8. Remember, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. WANTED. NEEDED. IRREPLACEABLE. There is no one else like you. No matter how many “perfect matches” you see in your head.
9. Keep going, you’re almost to the other side.
STAY CALM…AND FROZEN PEAS ON!
Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat
TAK
I can see it so clearly in my head. Jerry Maguire desperately trying to retrieve the goldfish from the tank and once he does he turns around to face the whole office looking at him and he says whoever comes with me will experience something “REAL”, something “FUN”, something “INSPIRING” and then goes on to say “Who’s coming with me?”. The whole office is starring at him like he’s nuts! He realizes that NO ONE is coming. No one is willing to take that leap of faith for something greater, something better, something life changing – SOMETHING UNCOMFORTABLE AND SCARY. And after a ton of silence and Jerry’s speech blown to shit, Dorothy jumps out of her seat and shouts “I WILL COME WITH YOU!” I was starting to sweat there for a minute for poor Jerry.
I have felt so much like Jerry the past year or maybe more like the goldfish trying to escape the net because it’s way to comfortable in my fish tank life of normalcy. Over the weekend I did a refresher hands only CPR class and I explained to one of the nurses I always felt nervous in the past to do CPR in the event I messed up. She stood there looking at me and smiled. I then laughed and realized how ridiculous that must have sounded to her and I said “What’s the worst thing that could happen? They die? They are going to die anyway if I don’t try.”
That’s how I feel about this JUMP into something completely different in my life. Is it uncomfortable? You bet it is. Unbelievably. Will it be worth it? I have no clue. What I do know is, I will either WIN or I will LEARN. And with that there is no LOSING.
So……WHO’S COMING WITH ME?
Live.Learn.Rinse.Repeat.
TAK
Tommy????
I woke up and just like that I realized for the past 33 years I’ve been belting out Bon Jovi’s song “Livin on a Prayer” WRONG!!!!! I mean for real…WHO IS TOMMY? My guy has been Johnny and I don’t know who the hell this Tommy dude is.
Seriously though…it happened. Today. Pulling out of my driveway, deciding I’ve had enough of love songs that make me feel gross inside and forget country music because that makes me feel like crashing my car into something and I’ve already had enough wrecks for one year. So I think to myself there is only one thing to do!!! BREAK OUT THE 80’s ROCK. It won’t cause a ton of reminiscing because we didn’t listen to it very often, SO YEAH, HELL YEAH, BRING ON THE 80’S ROCK. I gotta be honest, it’s not my fav whatsoever. But it doesn’t bring memories to my head or my heart. So, with that, you bet, I’m all in.
I am however highly disturbed by the fact that I’ve been singing this song wrong for so many years. How is that even possible to miss something so obvious? Maybe the real question is, was I really listening in the first place? Tommy v. Johnny. Hmmmmm, I guess it’s possible.
So that brings me to this thought. If it has been possible to miss something so critical as the name of the dude who worked on the docks in Bon Jovi’s hit song all these years, then who knows how much I’ve missed in LIFE not really listening. Hearing and listening are two very different things. Touché Tommy!
Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat
TAK
Welcome to THE RINSE CYCLE.
LIVE. LEARN. RINSE. REPEAT.
You guessed it…another AMAZING blog out in the universe to read. I know, the world needs another blog like it needs another !
I would love to say it will be life shattering. An eye opening, laugh until your gut hurts, educational and occasionally sad read. It probably will be and as a bonus, I will throw out randoms about living, learning, RINSING and repeating this crazy thing called life.
I’m a mother of two amazing kids. Yes, I know, everyone says it, but they are. I’m a Paralegal by day and an IFBB Pro Athlete by night, sometimes early morning but realistically more like “whenever I can fit it in”. I just turned 45, and here’s the real kicker – I’m still trying to get my shit together and figure out who I am and what I want to be when I grow up BECAUSE THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS, oh and finally I’m a “wanna-be” blogger for myself because it feels good.
About a year ago I started this blog and called it “Inhale good shit exhale bullshit.” I started it for myself after the encouragement of a friend, but never shared it socially and only with a few people in my circle. Looking back, I thought the name fit perfectly as I was attempting some kick-ass Nitro Circus type stunts to exhale things and people in my life that were not serving me and attempting to inhale the good surrounding me like an experienced Yogi in some crazy twisted pretzel pose humming “ommmmmmmmmm.” Of course, achieving true peace will forever be a life goal for me, but I’ve outgrown the GOODSHIT & BULLSHIT mantra.
I’ve also outgrown the No F’s Given Club, although I gave it my best shot. I’ve outgrown pretending to be strong when I am weak, after all I have the best ugly cry face ever. I’ve outgrown pretending to have my shit together, because I just don’t and it’s too exhausting to pretend otherwise.
Time to be real. Time to heal.
Live. Learn. Rinse. Repeat.
TAK
I’ve heard people make this type of comment about our youth “What is wrong with kids these days?” Uhhh, duh. Let’s start off with one of the obvious issues. MODELING BEHAVIOR. KIDS who make fun of others turn into ADULTS that do the same lame thing. And I believe that parents sometimes model this jerk behavior, and don’t realize what they are doing. Or if they do, they don’t care because they watched the same modeling behavior unfold growing up.
As an adult, I simply can’t wrap my simple little noggin around adults making fun of others but unfortunately just the other night I sat at a table full of adults doing just that. Gross and disgusting.
Let me paint the picture of the event. Inaugural Ball. Beautiful event. Beautiful “looking” people. It was a very cool experience even though I still claim to be a Republican. I’ve shifted over the years to the party of “I really don’t know who or what I am.” As the ceremony came to an end, dinner began, the band started to play and people headed for the dance floor. There was a young lady, I would guess somewhere between 18-20 and she was dancing as the band played. The second I saw her, I smiled. As she was doing something different with zero fear. It seemed like a lyrical type dance. She was smiling and enjoying herself and not being hindered in the least about the opinions of others. She had a confidence that no one at my table shared. That said the “adults” at my table started making comments with twisted facial smirks and the like. My response to this was “At least she’s up there dancing and having a good time.” Which was more than anyone at that table could say.
A few thoughts flooded my mind about these small minded people who were 35+ years of age and still doing exactly what they probably did in high school….JUDGING & MAKING FUN of people who are different.
I thought they must be so insecure about themselves. I wondered if I recorded them, and did a playback how proud they would’ve been of their words and actions.
I thought they needed people with grace in their lives to help with humble modeling behaviors.
I thought they were so clueless. They didn’t know her. They didn’t know who she was or where she comes from and because of my son I always think beyond the “perfect little human box” (which good luck with that box btw, it’s a fairytale) and maybe this girl had a special need, or maybe she loved to express herself with dance or maybe she just loved to dance in general and she was dancing the only way she knew how and she didn’t care who was watching. I LOVED THIS ABOUT HER!
I couldn’t wait to escape the table for the bathroom. I’d rather wait in a 20 minute line alone than sit at that table.
I regret one thing about that night and that was not getting up from the table and dancing with her.
So here’s to the beautiful young girl on the dance floor doing your thing.
KEEP DOING YOU. KEEP DOING WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE. KEEP DOING WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD AND DON’T EVER LET ANYONE STOP YOU. YOUR SMILE IS CONTAGIOUS. THANK YOU FOR BEING BRAVE. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE MORE LIKE YOU. FREE.
xoxoxo
Breathe in…Breathe out.
TAK
COME AT ME BRO!!!! Hands up, fists clenched, maybe a few moves around the ring like my boy “Canelo” ready and waiting for the next punch to my face. Crazy as that sounds, I look at this self defense as being proactive, not negative. Ready to defend and attack before anything has a chance to hit me first. How old am I, right? Ummm, I’m 44 not 14. It doesn’t seem very mature at all, but that’s how I’ve approached life since my Dad walked out the door when I was 5 years old, after he came back and my parents remarried and they divorced again later after my Mom and my Dad’s best friend were busted having an affair. I was young but very aware of what was happening in front of my eyes, and holding a secret like that as a child is a very unhealthy thing. I remember the night my dad finally wised up and came home early that night. What followed is a memory I will never forget.
Being too open and vulnerable allows people to hurt my heart and break my trust. Frankly I’m just not down with that. Last night I watched Will Smith on Instagram and he said “Life is hard, you might get hurt, your heart might get broke, BUT you gotta COMMIT! Don’t hesitate. Go! Commit! You might lose something but you can’t experience the joy that is intended for you in life if you don’t GO!” His words were a KNOCK KNOCK…H-E-L-L-O…Are you in there? right on my brain. This doesn’t only apply to love, it applies to everything in our lives. The reason I avoid being vulnerable is that I fear what I don’t know, and by nature if things are “ok” I don’t like rocking the boat with change so I stay as stale as a bag of chips left unclipped.
I acknowledged out loud to my boyfriend and to my best friend the other day that I needed help. That I felt I had an addiction for the first time in my life. I’ve suffered from A.D.D. my whole freaking life, not really acknowledging it until August 2015 when I accepted a new position as a Paralegal. I wanted to stop wallpapering my office with post-it notes and furthermore I was sick of living my weekends with TO-DO lists that were never completed and trying to have conversations with someone bouncing around 10 subjects in less than a minute. Try to keep up with that! It’s tough! So I began medication and it has been a whirlwind of clarity and a fantastic ride, but it has also had negative side effects such as anxiety, mood swings, hair loss, etc. I tried to stop taking the medication this summer and that lasted about 2 weeks. FAIL. I never told anyone that I started taking it again, because I felt like such a loser. I felt like I had to keep it a secret because I was weak. The moment I shared that I felt I couldn’t manage life without it and I needed human help, I became vulnerable. How? I asked for help. I asked for patience. I put it out there that I needed someone.
That day, my fists were down, but I felt strong in my vulnerability. GO…COMMIT…be vulnerable.
Inhale…Exhale…
TAK
STOP REMEMBERING THE SHIT THAT DOESN’T SERVE YOU. Insert my best Italian “FORGET ABOUT IT” right here. If I had a dollar for every post-it note or journal note on my phone used to remind myself of “something” I need to do or not forget, I WOULD BE FREAKING RICH AS SHIT $$$$$$ CHA-CHING! Wait, shit isn’t rich is it? Whateve…you get my point.
This ridiculous topic of choice today is the feeling that I need to remember every little thing that happens in my life. Good and bad. Who has time for that? Clearly me if I could physically wallpaper a room with all the flipping post-it notes I have surrounding me at work and home.
Recently my goal driven boyfriend and I completed the monster task of cleaning out my mother’s home. She passed in February 2015. The hoarding alone took (2) 40′ dumpsters and a few crazy months of work to flip the home for sale. I realized before the project started that I would be extremely overwhelmed by so many different emotions. It was both mentally and physically exhausting. I needed to take in every memory good and bad that came with this task. Those moments and memories have made me who I am – past and present. We started at the beginning of April and the final work was completed on June 24, 2018, on the market the same day and an offer the next day. #WIN
I struggled with the loss of my Mom and denial of that favored me. There were so many memories that brought anger and tears as well as laughter and smiles. The one thing I learned from this experience by reliving and remembering so many memories is that I never wished I was little again. “Oh there are so many wonderful memories in this house, I loved being a kid, I sure wish I was 5 years old” NO…NO FUCKING WAY. WOW…what does that say about the childhood fun? Tons. Maybe, and that’s a HUGE maybe, I’d crank back time to say, 10 or 11 years old. Old enough to make some different choices in my life for my future self, but not young enough to go through some of the ups and downs that I’ve put out of my mind. Being forced to spend this much time at my childhood home helped heal my soul and in some ways say goodbye to her. I know she would be very proud of what we accomplished.
When I think about all the time spent on memories of the past (even if that past is last week or yesterday) I could slap myself. Yet I’ve caught myself over the past few days doing the same thing. Especially the memories that are not worth spending precious time on or holding on to negative memories that only bring negative thoughts into my mind. I wrote the following note to myself just now. #keepinitclassy
Dear Jack-Ass Self,
If you can’t remember the shit clutter without journal notes or post-it notes…IT MUST NOT BE WORTH REMEMBERING.
Get a clue & you’re welcome!
Yours truly,
Jack-Ass Self
Today, with my favorite 5 second rule (I love Mel Robbins, “The 5 Second Rule”) I’ve decided to PURGE notes and screenshots from my phone that do not serve me in a positive way. If I feel the need to write down bad shit or shit memories and the good shit or amazing shit is not WINNING in my life at least 90% of the time then HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM. This pattern of habit needs to evolve and not by writing more notes or keeping more negative things to remember. If it doesn’t serve me in a positive way, it’s time to say goodbye. It’s time to make room in my MIND and free up my TIME for the things WORTH remembering.
I still love post-it notes btw, but they will be used for store lists and maybe a cute little note to myself that says “Don’t be a dick by keeping track of stupid shit that doesn’t serve you!”
Inhale…Exhale…
TAK
The Rinse Cycle 